Of Politicians Grazing and a Horse Drawn Republic

 Another light humor to enlighten your cloudy day.

Pedro and Juan seems to be restless working overtime at the late afternoon heat reaching 32°C. In a tropical country like the Philippines, news and rumours could be the only fitting escape.
Juan: Hey Pedro, I have a new learning to share to you.
Pedro: What is that Juan, I’m excited to learn about it.
Juan: Have you thought about what the politicians are doing right now since it’s barely 4 months to the elections?Pedro: No, so what do you think they are doing?
Juan: Think of them like horses and they are presently grazing in the field.
Read more in Political« Obama Doing a Handstand! a Collection of Photos of  World Leaders Doing Funny/stupid Things with Captions
Pedro: Hmmnnn, another interesting perspective. Could you please elaborate more?
Juan: When horses are grazing, they have both eyes uncovered so they have a wider perspective, they have no horse drawn carriage behind them so they could think freely. That’s what politicians do when campaigning, they could persuade people of their insights for a new government.
Pedro: Very interesting Juan, then what about them when they win a seat of authority after elections?
Juan: That’s always the sad part Pedro. When you see a winning candidate waving to thank his/her constituents, while on a motorcade after the polls, that will be the last part of him/her that sees the countryside with open eyes.
Pedro: Why so?
Juan: Because as likened to a horse, they will soon be fitted with the carriage behind them representing the places they lead, and traditionally horses chosen for the task were fitted with eye covers allowing the carriage driver to direct the way.
Pedro: So that explains why they usually lose the insight when they are on the position and simply assume a steady forward pace till the end of the term because the carriage driver keeps on whipping their backs.
Juan: Certainly, Juan. So you see, there’s actually movement but for the most part of it, the carriage might just be circling the same open spot.
Pedro: That makes me wonder, why can’t a politician be the carriage driver and not the horse?
Juan: It can’t be, a politician would always be a horse because the carriage driver’s position could always be left to that person behind the politician’s back who is not legally there to take part in the decisive matters but has natural access to do so.
Pedro: You’re clever Juan. Of course if comes to a male President, he has a First Lady and a female President a First Gentleman.
Juan: You got it, Pedro. You’ve learned a lot. So here’s the other thing, the turn over.
Pedro: What about it Juan? Of course there are “spoils” to be passed on to the succeeding man/woman on each political post.
Juan: Right, speaking about the spoils, if you see the thing used to catch horse droppings at the rear, those are the spoils. It could be literally easy to clean in the actual carriage but it’s a lot complicated in the political counterpart.
Pedro: That keeps me thinking, I knew we have a lot of problems to worry which hasn’t yet come to light. But why of all modes of transportation, you have compared our country to a horse drawn carriage, Juan?
Juan: That’s the most unfortunate truth to accept, Pedro. We are in the 21st century but with our present political antics, we are literally caught up with the Spanish period with the way our leaders rule our country, so I am left with the horse drawn carriage, the calesa to compare it with. I must say we could advance to the Japanese regime when I hear a politician committing “hara-kiri” to save his/her honor but unfortunately we hear the other version, people falling lifeless out of some volatile politics.

Johnny Depp: Still Alive After All These Years

 Johnny  Depp: Still Alive After All These Years
By Lew Sethics for News of the World.

Yes,  Johnny  Depp is still alive in spite of rumors to the contrary.  It seems the body found at the Paris, London flat was not his, nor was the flat itself.  And it wasn’t Paris, London, it was somewhere else, I don’t know where, far away though.
When asked to reply to the advent of his demise Mr. Depp didn’t comment, not being actually contacted by this reporter, who is on a tight budget, and couldn’t find Johnny’s number.  But I did rent “scizzorhands” which I didn’t like.
What can one say about Mr. Depp that hasn’t been said a million times, besides the fact that he is alive, I don’t know.  But be reassured that he is alive and well, well, as well as a Johnny Depp can be, I’ll wager.  He made movies, we laughed, we cried.  What else is there to say?
Some writers clutch at any straws to gain readership, and so write fabricated stories and kill off our heroes and loved ones prematurely and dramatically, only to have reality slam the brakes on their ill conceived plans when the dead guy shows up somewhere, all alive and shit.
So, until he really dies, this is Lew Sethics  reporting from Paris, London, saying, Go!  Go Johnny, Go!  Go to News of the World!
Jonny be good.

Eidur double puts Blues on brink

Eidur double puts Blues on brink

Another Gud day

From Matt Driscoll at St Mary's Stadium

CHELSEA took another emphatic step towards their first title in 50 years.

Two-goal Eidur Gudjohnsen put them on the way to victory — and a massive 13-point lead over Asenal and Manchester United.

These were apparently troubled times for Chelsea. A two-game Champions League touchline ban for their boss, a fine and even a behind-the-scenes row was hardly the best preparation for this evening clash.

But if Mourinho was unsettled by his latest spat with officialdom, that emotion certainly did not transfer to his team under the spring sunshine at St Mary's.

Within 22 minutes Chelsea had taken the lead and Mourinho's domestic dream was back on track, despite what many believed to have been a difficult couple of weeks in the camp.

Chelsea would have been buoyed by the fact that, once again, Manchester United dropped two points, giving them the chance to wrap up the title even earlier than expected.

Victory would leave Chelsea just three games away from making history — possibly even nearer if United's erratic form continues.

Playing a 4-1-4-1 formation, the Blues were faced with a Southampton side determined to add a point to their survival cause.

Threat

Harry Redknapp's side sat deep and were happy to try and find the 6ft 7in frame of Peter Crouch to try and hold the ball up on counter attacks.

But that plan failed as soon as the Saints gave away a free-kick.

It was a full 30 yards out, yet with England midfielder Frank Lampard placing the ball, the threat was always plain to see.

And when he thumped the ball, sending it hurtling towards goal, a deflection off the Southampton wall made sure keeper Antti Niemi was wrong-footed and beaten.

Southampton nearly made it even easier for the champions-elect when a dreadful back pass into his own box left defender Claus Lundekvam having to lunge out to prevent Mateja Kezman from getting to it first.

Niemi was left to perform a karate kick to clear the ball from the mouth of his goal.

Saints did finally go close on the half-hour when Lundekvam headed a corner just wide of the post.

But nine minutes later Saints' day took a further turn for the worse. Chelsea right-back Glen Johnson — back in the England Under-21 squad as well as Mourinho's plans — made a sensational run into the area passing, one, two and then a third Saint.

With a quick look up he pulled a square ball back to Gudjohnsen who, despite starting the game from midfield alongside Lampard, had made enough progress to blast it low to extend the lead.

If anyone expected Chelsea to wobble after the turbulence witnessed off the pitch, what with the war of words with Barcelona and UEFA, they now had the answer.

Chelsea's historic title charge was back in full swing and Southampton could do little to get in its way.

With Bayern Munich waiting on Wednesday, the first in Mourinho's two-match touchline ban, he was ready to give some of his key players a rest ahead of the Champions League quarter-final.

Didier Drogba started on the bench and even Joe Cole was replaced at the break after a strenuous week playing for his country.

Cole, who may have solved England's left midfield headache after starring against Northern Ireland and Azerbaijan, found life hard on the right in support of Kezman.

Southampton needed a lot more than a substitution to get back into the game after an opening half of sub-standard football.

After back-to-back wins they had managed to drag themselves out of the bottom three.

But, despite Crystal Palace's 1-0 loss to Middlesbrough, they were heading back into trouble.

Manager Redknapp resorted to a double substitution to try and kick-start his side.

Graeme Le Saux and Henri Camara were replaced by Kevin Phillips and Anders Svensson.

And the effect was almost instantaneous.

Both had only been on the pitch a couple of minutes before Saints managed to put Chelsea on the back foot for the first time in the game.

Spurred

Svensson's cross from the left was headed back across goal by Crouch and only a stunning swipe of Petr Cech's glove prevented Phillips from nodding in.

The home side seemed to be spurred on when the crowd reacted to a high arm from Kezman into the face of Andreas Jakobsson. The Chelsea striker had only just been booked but escaped a red card.

And as the St Mary's faithful roared their side on from the corner awarded after Cech's heroics, Chelsea suddenly froze.

Paul Telfer whipped in a low cross from the short corner and every Chelsea player ball watched until it was turned in off Phillips' right boot.

It appeared to be a minor lapse of concentration but it had the effect of giving Southampton the belief that they could grab a draw.

What should have been a comfortable run in to the final whistle became a hard slog for the Blues.

But, as they have proved before, Chelsea can dig in and battle with the best of them when they have to.

And with seven minutes left sub Drogba helped secure the win with a top-drawer pass to Gudjohsen after Southampton were landed in trouble by a poor Lundekvam pass out from the area.

Nothing can stop Chelsea now. Not even UEFA.